Discovered Power

[phantom]

I finally understand what's been going on. All this time, I felt something was wrong with me. Mom and dad seem to be a bit concerned, but once they find out, I'm sure they'll be relieved. Maybe even excited. I can't wait to tell them. They've been pretty uneasy since my injury and I want to put their minds at ease.

What amazing power I've been given. I find it rather cool, really. I'll need to be careful though. This kind of thing can easily go to a persons head. I'm going to try to be responsible, but I've already used my powers in some... less than responsible ways. Between sneaking up behind people through a gateway to a fourth dimension and forcing the less-than-friendly kids at school to the ground under immense gravity, I suppose I could be a little more careful, what with the "gifted suppression" and all.

Well, I'm going to show them what I can do today. I'm sure they'll be excited to see it, too.

[phantom]

...

I'm sorry. I didn't really feel much like writing earlier. My parents didn't really respond the way I expected. I'm starting to think it wasn't a good idea to write any of this down and I considered destroying this journal. But I haven't decided whether I will do it or not yet.

How could they? If your parents are the ones that are supposed to love you the most, then how do others feel about me? Would they hand me over so easily? One minute, I'm confessing my gifts(are they, though?) to my parents, the next I am jumping in and out of darkness avoiding the hands and restraining devices of four men. I'll never forget tonight, but I'd like to have it down in writing. If anyone ever finds this, I'm sure they will come after me, but at least they'll know what I've been through...

I ran in overjoyed. I was like a small child at show-and-tell. I brought my parents to the back yard and told them to wait. I brought out a baseball, a cardboard box, and my bike. I set them out next to me. I simply said "Now watch" and the show began. I opened a hole in the air and set the baseball inside, then closed it. No more baseball. They looked shocked. I open it and retrieve the baseball. I do the same with the box, only I wave my hand where I set it to show that it wasn't there. I open the gateway. I had to look around ot find the box. I must have hit and moved it when I waved my hand, but I got it out after a few moments.

Finally, the grand finale. I open a large hole reaching from my head to the ground and ride my bike into it, closing it behind me. I can only imagine what they did as I rode around them in soundless darkness. I reopened it behind them and came out. When I got there, they looked scared. I asked what was wrong. My father told me to wait for a few minutes in my room.

I saw the truck coming from my bedroom window. Four men came inside and tried to grab me. I disappeared from their view and managed to get through to the downstairs hall. I had to emerge for a moment to find myself. I saw the men coming again and I panicked. I put my hands in front of me and the staircase collapsed, dropping all four men. I ran, not bothering to disappear. I went out the door and ran down the street. I looked back. Unexpectedly, I had no desire to return.

What will I do now? Chacun me déteste. I cannot return...

[phantom]

I've been living on the streets for a while now. I can't risk going home and I don't have the means to get a proper living space. I thought of trying to find someone who would take me in, but I also can't risk anyone else finding out what I am. I've already had enough trouble.

It hurts me to see that my gift is putting barriers between me and those I care about. It's almost like the dimensions stand between us, keeping love from passing. Our eyes may meet, but never our hearts. Why can't they accept me? Why must I beg for ungranted forgiveness for uncommited sin?

Sometimes, I want to open a large gateway and throw the whole world into darkness. Only then could they feel the despair that I have. Only then could they see what not seeing really is. When they find themself in a place where neither they nor anything else is, but was and will be, they will come to appreciate the existance and life that they now enjoy. And maybe they would open up to me and grant me the gift they have been given. But what is one gift for another? Must I cast aside this natural anomaly just to reenter the realm of "normality"? If I could, would I?

I think I'd choose the side that doesn't ask me to choose sides. Only then could I feel truly accepted.

[phantom]

I passed a boy a couple days ago. His face was strange as he passed me. It was almost as if he'd seen me before and was trying to figure out who I was. Even stranger, I got the same feeling, though I know we've never met. As he walked by, I felt as if we were connected. It was the strangest thing and I can't act like I understand, but it was as if we mixed together, each of us becoming one with each other. Since then, I've been having dreams of people and places I've never seen before. Could these be the memories of that boy? If so, what is he dreaming of?

I have been looking people I pass in the eyes lately, trying to figure out somehow what had happened. Another power of mine? A power of his? Or something entirely separate? I don't know, but I hope to find the answer someday. Maybe I can find this boy. What is his name? Deep inside me, I know that I know it, but... I can't call it up. Maybe my dreams will answer the questions they have plagued me with.

[phantom]

Last night, I had another dream. I saw a girl with long hair. She was sitting by water and the sun was just behind her. I couldn't see her face. I have to write this down so I don't forget.

The lake was large and it had a lot of trees to one side of it. The girl sat on the shore of it, watching the water. She looked over at something and I saw her walk away. For a moment, I saw nothing. Then, there were two people. The girl and a boy. I could see neither's face due to the sun's position. But the boy... Was that the boy I had passed? It must have been. This must have been a memory of his. Watching it, I felt sad and far off. I felt like I missed something. I looked at the girl and noticed she was looking toward the lake, unmoving. The boy was looking at me. I could faintly see him, but it wasn't enough to identify him. I could see his mouth though and he silently said two words. It looked like he said "find her".

The dream flickered and the lake and the girl were suddenly gone. I was standing on a large, flat plain, the ground flat and pure black. In the distance, I could see the sun setting over the horizon. The boy stood there, still just a silhouette. His stared straight into the sun, his back facing me. Turning, he hled out his hand. In it, I could see a small object. I took it from him and examined it, holding it up to the sun. It looked like a glass ball mounted on a golden base with two figures inside. The two figures were made of a jet black stone and were clearly molded into the shape of a boy and a girl facing each other, holding both hands.

The dream ended with a bright flash of light. I woke up and looked around. It gives me chills to even write the next part and it was a hundred times as intense when it first happened. When I looked over, I saw the small snowglobe-like figure sitting in my hand. I looked around, but no one was there. It took a close look at the object. It was a beautiful work of art. The two words the boy had said echoed in my mind. "Find her." Was I supposed to bring this to her? How had he given it to me? Not understanding what was going on, I put the figure in my pocket and decided to wait to find out more. He is sure to contact me again, right?

[phantom]

It seems I haven't entered anything here for a while. It's been months since my last dream about the boy, but I had another one just recently. It wasn't as long or elaborate as the last one. Simply, I saw the boy again, his face still hidden in darkness, and he was pointing somewhere. I looked over and saw a man dressed in a white t-shirt, an open white jacket, and black pants. Those are the only features I remember of him. I then saw myself approach the man and open a gateway. The man then took me somewhere far away. I was concerned. Was this a warning? I looked back at the boy and saw him mouth two words. "Trust him." I woke up then and looked around. Again, nobody there.

The day continued as normal, but then I noticed a man with a white jacket and black pants with his back to me. I approached him and asked him who he was. He told me that he was just a guy looking for something. Remembering my dream, I asked him what he was looking for. He vaguely replied, "Something special." Gathering my courage and fueled by curiosity, I told him that I was special. He looked at me quizically and asked me how. I looked around to make sure no one was watching and opened a small gateway to the fourth dimension, only big enough to fit my hand. The man smiled and nodded. "It seems I've found you," he said. I was worried for a moment, but then saw the kindness in his eyes. There was a light there that didn't exist in the dark eyes of the agency that tried to get me before. He took me with him to a car and we drove for hours to get to a place he called "Cassis".

I've only been in the city for a few minutes now and I'm waiting for the man to come back from the building he just went into. I think he's deciding what to do with me. I hope the boy knew what he was talking about when he said to trust him. I expected that when I got here, I would feel lost, but it actually strangely feels like I just came home.

[phantom]

This has been a very eventful day. The man who "found" me said I was going to be taken to a school. There was a whole long process that I don't really want to write about, but I did eventually end up at the school. It is a really big school. In fact, Cassis is a really big city. I'm surprised they've kept it a secret.

Of all the amazing things here- including the "Dager Room", the huge training field, and the thick woods- the thing that caught my attention most was the lake. My eyes widened as I approached it. I felt I had been there before. It is, without a doubt, the lake from my dreams. Was that boy leading me here all along? I looked out at the lake and felt a tear run down my face. Suddenly, I recieved a sort of vision.

I was standing in front of the boy again, his face still shrouded in darkness. He spoke and I heard him. "I feel I must help you," he said, "What do you desire?" I thought for a moment, not knowing how to respond. In truth, all I've really wanted was to be accepted ever since the trouble with my parents and I told him this. He nodded and told me he understood. I suddenly returned to reality, staring out at the lake. I felt the object in my pocket, the glass ball with the figures inside, and I knew that I had to find the girl. I know she's here. She just has to be.

You wouldn't expect something more interresting to happen in the same day, but something did. I met the nicest girl named Tiffany. She seems to be the only one to understand me. She talked to me for a long time, longer than I expected. It was as if the boy had helped me, but I would prefer to think that I had won her over on my own. Every word she spoke made me feel better about myself. I just hope that I can make her feel the same. I never have been very good at consoling people. I hope more than that that her life will not bring up anything causing her to need consoling. She doesn't deserve the trouble.

I hope that my life here in Cassis will be a good one. I may stay here forever and I may not. Only time can tell.

[phantom]

This school is amazing, a haven of peace and security. It seems I've met yet another girl that understands me and was willing to talk to me. I could never hope for such friends anywhere else. The outside world is cruel and, most times, completely unresponsive. The girl's name is Mayanalea; Maya for short. Talking to her made me wonder where Tiffany was. It's strange how quickly relationships can start here. It seems to be that everyone here is different. I think I'll try to meet everyone I can. I hope they're all as kind as Tiff and Maya. Even if they aren't, it's hard to find even two people out there that you really get along with. For me anyway.

As for news of the strange boy and the girl he is looking for, I went to the lake to find her. That's where I met Mayanalea, but I don't believe she's the one I'm looking for. I have a feeling I'll have some kind of emotional moment when I see her as I did when I saw the lake. It's rather odd to have the feelings of another channel through you, but it's interresting to even be part of something so abnormal. But what is normal? Anyway, I didn't see the girl I was looking for, whoever she is, and I'm starting to think I might not. Was the boy wrong in sending me here? Maybe she used to be here but is gone. I don't know, but I'll keep searching. If he can deliver a knickknack to me while I sleep without even coming in contact with me(how did he do that?), I'm sure he has some way to know where she is.

He asked me what I wanted, as I mentioned earlier. Is he helping me? If so, how? It doesn't seem there's anything he could do for me. Maybe next time I can just ask him what's going on. That's all I really want right now.